The truth is as You say - I am forgiven when I earnestly seek You. But often, I am not forgiving myself. I mistake my internal feeling of regret and shame for the need to again ask You to forgive, when You have already done so, and removed it from me.
Do you find yourself in this position? We often struggle to forgive ourselves of something we have already been absolved of from above. When God promises you are forgiven - when our Creator says He has removed your sin - when Jesus speaks the words 'It is finished!' - it means exactly what you think it does. You are forgiven!
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." We know our Lord is Faithful and Just. Those aren't just adjectives to throw around, but they are actually who He is. No human is completely faithful or just, but God is not only perfectly faithful and just, but these are titles for Him - He is Faithful, He is Just.
He is also Truth. John tells us these words from our King: "Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.'" Do you think the One who is Truth will tell us we are forgiven and then not actually forgive us? I say this to myself as much as to anyone else: When we seek forgiveness from God with the right attitude and intentions, we are forgiven before the sentence is finished.
Forgiving ourselves is easier when we truly believe we are forgiven by God. Take His promises and own them!
#LoveMatters